Artful Dauntless
by Ribbon95
Summary: Artful. Clever or Skillfull especially in a crafty or cunning way. That's me, apparently. The faction system is set up to keep the peace, to keep us all in our place. We are placed in our factions based on our personality atributes. Me, I am Artful or Cunning, depending on what way you look at it I suppose. That means I belong to Erudite..according to the system that is. (I do n
1. Prologue

_Thank you for choosing to read this story. It is based on the divergent movies rather than the books but will only follow the story line for the first couple of chapters. I have rated the story M for later chapters. Hope you enjoy!_

Artful means to be clever or skillfull in a cunning way. I have been told that I am artful my whole life, never sure that this was a complement but I suppose in erudite it is. The faction system is in place to make sure that peace is up held and that no one steps out of their place, our so called place is determined by our attributes. We all have to take a test through a simulation once we reach the age of 16. I know where I will be placed, erudite. It's where I grew up, its the faction I have already been classified into by my peers and family. All because of the one silly little word, Artful.

I suppose we all hope that we can prove others wrong, no one likes to be pigeon holed in to one category but I suppose this is the whole point of our system. I cannot argue that I do not have erudite attributes. I seem to be always looking for answers to questions that no one seems to want to answer, why do we have this system in place, who created it, why do we have to follow its ancient ideals but your not allowed to ask these questions, so does this make me brave like dauntless or just plain stupid and therefore not so erudite at all.

Fairness, to be just, I suppose this sums up Candor nicely. I am in no way Candor like. Yes, of course I believe in justice and writing wrong doings but being artful,as they say, means that I am in no way honest, cunning does not mean that you are honest. It means I am too clever for my own good, well according to my parents anyway.

Now do not get me wrong if I am chosen to be in erudite for the rest of my life this will suit me fine but there is a part of me which does not want my life to be fine, just fine. Who wants that? Although there are far worse factions to be placed in. Amity for example is not for me. It's not that I don't want peace and I am so thankful for all that the faction does for us but there does not seem to be any movement in that faction and by that I mean progression. They farm, they farm some more and that's just about what they're daily life consists of, I just couldn't. My brain is always going at 100 miles an hour, I need stimulation.

Abnegation, now that's a weird faction. Complete and utter selflessness. How can you be? I find it too hard to believe that someone could care more for others than they do for them self's, if I had to choose between someone I didn't know eating or dying and myself, it would be me every time. Does that make me selfish? No it makes me clever, it makes me erudite.

The simulations start tomorrow. Everyone in my faction seems so sure that we will all remain erudite, that nothing will change. I am not so sure and usually my gut is right. I think things will be different this year in comparison to other years. We have really only had one major change in the faction when it comes to the choosing ceremony. Sure people have swapped, erudite to candour to amnity, these are the most common swaps. People do not usually want to be abnegation or dauntless, both are too "out there" but maybe that's what we need, maybe that's what they all need. A shake up.


	2. Choosing

The simulation had always seemed scary to any non Erudite member, I suppose since we invented the serum we knew what to expect. Each of the factions gathered outside of the building in order to take their test. Blue for erudite, Red and yellow for amity, White for Candor, Grey for Abnigation and Black for Dauntless, to make sure everyone could be traced to their own factions. Another method of making sure everyone stays separate and yet the same in their own factions, no one really stood out from the next.

Our faction formed a neat line and slowly started to move in to the building. As I joined I noticed one of my friends Sophia standing two rows in front of me so I slid into line in front of two other Erudite members getting glares as I did so. She smiled over to me "nervous" she asked and I just looked round at her "Soph when have you ever known me to be nervous", she chuckled lightly as we continued to move up the line.

Eventually we had reached the waiting room and judging by the order we were gong for I should be up next. "Ilianna Preston". I stood up from my chair, smiled at Sophia and walked into the room. I sat down in the chair observing the plainness of the room and in fact the girl standing beside me dressed in red clearly from abnegation. She handed me the serum to drink which I took without question, slowly I started to drift off.

Upon opening my eyes I appeared to be in a room filled with mirrors, this must be something to do with abnegation and the fact that they are not vain I thought. I looked around but only my reflection starred back at me. Long red/brown hair tied back into a high pony tail with big green eyes and a body clothed in a blue dress. I then noticed a table a few meters in front of me which held a knife and a piece of meat. Suddenly a wolf began to stalk towards me, I realised I had to make a choice, the meat would only delay the inevitable however I could use the knife if I needed to. I picked up the knife and began to circle the wolf, knowing that backing into a corner was not a wise choice. I did not want to kill the animal unless I had to, then something came into mind about wolfs not liking high pitched noises, so I turned to the mirror and began to run the knife up and down the mirror making a horrible high pitched squeal, the wolf began to cower in the corner of the room, I smiled to myself knowing I had figured out this part of the sim.

Everything began to switch in the room and suddenly a little girl appeared by my side along with the same wolf from before, Selflessness I thought. They want to test whither I will sacrifice the girl to save myself. I pulled the little girl to my side and starred at the wolf as it approached. What do I do. This time I had no choice the wolf pounced and I stabbed erratically in its direction, again the room changed, to a bus .

The man sitting on the seat in front of me turned around to reveal his scarred, burnt face and pointed to a picture of another young male. "What" I asked and he proceeded to ask me if I knew the male. I did. If I told him this I would be responsible for anything that happened to the man but if I lie this man will not get the peace of mind that he deserves although I do not know what this man in front of me is capable of, so I replied no.

I woke to the same plain room as before feeling a little light headed and groggy. I looked over to the women beside me "Well?" I asked. "Erudite" she nodded and I nodded back, expecting that result due to my methodical thinking during the sim, I went to stand up but she grabbed my fore arm, I looked back up at her and she had a frown on her face "you are erudite, just" she answered. "Just?" I questioned "You are clever and methodicall but also brave and cunning so you have to choose where you want to be Erudite or Dauntless" . I nodded and stood up, now desperate to leave the room, Dauntless, I am partially Dauntless. I looked around for Sophia but noticed her coming out of a room just beside mine. I quickly walked over to her.

"Erudite" she told me with a smile. I nodded back and we started to walk out of the building and back home. I kept silent but I could feel her stares "what's wrong" she asked, I turned to her unsure of whether I should tell her the truth or lie and in this instance it was definitely best to lie, she was by closest friend but I don't think she would understand this. "Nothing I got Erudite just like I thought" I smiled "great, now we get to chose our jobs, I cant wait for the ceremony". I nodded trying to seem as happy as I could but my insides were churning, I had a choice in this, I never expected to have a choice. My path was laid out for me, erudite, always erudite.

The crossing ceremony had began and my name was called. I was now standing in front of the faction bowls, each with their own symbol of the factions. I looked from the water of erudite to the coals of dauntless. How can I be a bit of both? Water would extinguish the fires in the coals, how would I work in Dauntless. Fine, my life is just fine, then it clicked, that's the problem. I didn't want a fine life, I wanted to be stimulated not just mentally but physically. Things ever changing, being able to ask those questions that no one wants me to ask. Maybe Dauntless would allow me to do that, maybe I would change Dauntless, Maybe Dauntless would change me. "The world as we know it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking" Albert Einstein said those word and I was going to change my thinking in order to make a change to this faction driven world we call home.

I took the knife across my palm and watched as the drops of blood seared against the hot coals of Dauntless.


	3. Dauntless

After the ceremony finished all of the factions stood up to get ready to leave the building. Dauntless however did it in a different fashion. They all stood up whooping and hollering and began to run out of the building and out into the city. I jumped out of my seat giving a last wave to my friend Sophia who looked at me solemnly before I took off behind my fellow Dauntless members.

We flew though the city with ease before we reached the tracks and they all began climbing up the poles that held up the track. I looked up at them in awe wondering if I would be able to follow but I shook the thought out of my head and grabbed onto the structure and began pulling myself up to the top. Once I reached the tracks I felt elated but it did not last long as I saw the train approaching and people began to run down the tracks, I watched as the train whizzed past and then quickly realised what I had to do, we were jumping on to the train. I lurched myself down the tracks after the train at full speed, which given my lack of physical excercise was not very fast at all. I knew I wouldn't make it so I looked down at the belt on my dress and quickly came up with a plan.

I flung one end of my belt at the hand rail of the door to the train and it caught on I then managed to pull myself into the train, landing in a heap as the fabric of the belt tore. I breathed in and out deeply thanking my Erudite way of thinking or I would have been a goner. I looked up and noticed a lot of people staring, mostly dauntless by the looks of their black clothing. One boy dressed in white looked down at me and gave me his hand to help me up, I took it greatfully.

"Erudite" he noted with a smirk, I looked at his white clothes before replying "Candor". He just laughed at me and nodded before sticking his hand out for me to shake and letting me know that his name was Peter , I was glad to meet another transfer but was still a bit unsure of his character but I introduced my self none the less. We quickly turn around as we hear more shouts of "jump" coming from other transfers and dauntless born, I notice that people are jumping off the train and on to a gravel covered roof top. I look at peter with wide eyes "come on" he shouts at me as he makes a run for the door. I look down at my blue dress noticing it is quite tight around me knees so I tear it from the knee to mid thigh unknowingly smirking at the gesture of saying goodbye to my old faction before launching myself out fo the door and onto the roof top.

I landed on my knees and felt the searing pain, I looked down and saw blood covering both of my knees "Brilliant just what I need" I said aloud to myself before standing up and making my way over to the group gathering round the edge of the roof top space. I noticed peter who waved me over to stand with him before looking through the crowd to see a man standing on the wall at the edge of what looked like a drop. "Well this looks interesting" i told him and he just scoffed.

"I'm Eric i am one of your dauntless leaders. This is the way into dauntless, if you do not jump then you do not belong in dauntless". He couldn't be serious, we've just jumped off a moving train and now we've to jump down a hole to god knows where, I'm beginning to wonder if taking the risk on this faction was a very clever idea at all. "Is there water at the bottom or something" a transfer from Erudite asked, "I guess you will find out" Eric replied with a smug smirk. I stared at Eric for a little longer than was necessary trying to figure out if i knew him before but I couldn't have, not if he was dauntless. I wondered what age he might be if he was a leader, he didn't look near the ages of any of the other faction leaders but still older than all of us. There was definitely a dangerous look about him that i was strangely intrigued by. "Hello mental stimulation" i said out loud not quite realising that i had. Peter looked round at me with a sly smile and everyone turned to face me.

I looked around at them all in embaresment. "What was that initiate" Eric questioned me, I didn't know what to say i mean I didn't mean to say anything. "Apologise" was all i could come up with, this just made him chuckle "Typical little Erudite, nice dress by the way" he mocked which made most laugh. I looked down at my dress and noticed how short it was since i ripped it in the train, I instinctively pulled it down crossing my arms in protest. "Who's first" Eric announced before looking round at the group. I kept my head down, glad that the attention was off me. "Me" shouted a girl from abnegation, I instinctively rolled my eyes at her trying to be brave.

She took off her coat, prompting an inappropriate call from Peter which prompted me to elbow him in the ribs. Before she stood up on the ledge and eventually stepped off hurtiling down into the abyss. I listened out for bang or scream but none came, there's got to be something at the bottom then i concluded. After a boy from dauntless stepped up i put my hand up to go next and got a raised eye brow from Eric. I stepped forward lifting myself onto the ledge, took a deep breath and stepped of the ledge. It felt like i had been falling for a while before i hit the cargo net at the bottom. I laughed as soon as i landed, not in joy but in relief before getting pulled off the net by another dauntless member. "Welcome, Name?" He asked. "Ilianna" i told him and he gave me a funny look "you can change it if you want" he told me, i smiled and said "ilianna" again to him, he smiled back and announced that i was the third jumper. I thanked him and went to stand with the rest.

As I waited for Peter to descend i spoke to some of the others and found out that the abnegation girl was called Tris, she actually seemed nice enough despite by first thoughts. I cant be blamed for it, Erudite are taught not to trust abnegation. I also spoke to Christina, a Candor transfer who seemed to be quite bold and i thought that we might get along okay. I noticed Peter landing in the net with a squeal before the Dauntless helped him out, he walked over to me and stood by me with his arms crossed. "Did you get a fright" i mocked him "Shut up Ilianna" he told me, i just laughed it off "hey, i thought we were going to be friend here" i questioned and he smiled back "We will see if we can be friends once i find out how Dauntless you actually are" i raised an eye brow at him "I can guarantee i will be more Dauntless that you who cant even tell a lie". At that we were interrupted by the Dauntless guy who had been helping us out of the net.

He told us his name was four, which earned a few laughs from the group although i remained silent. He was going to be one of our trainers through the induction process and explained that we would be trained separately from the Dauntless born. He then took us along a maze of corridors to our dorm rooms, i entered the large room along with everyone else and wandered over to a bed. "These will be your dorms, for the boys and the girls" the boys cheered at this and the girls let out a groan of annoyance, I just rolled my eyes. "Get changed, get rid of your old clothes and meet me in the training room in 15 minutes" Four announced before leaving the room.

I shouted peter over to be bunk mates as I didn't know anyone else well enough yet to trust them, not that i was sure that i could trust peter. I looked around the room and noticed the boys all getting changed with no issues, the girls meanwhile just stood around looking unsure. I looked on my bed and noticed a black tank top with black leggings and a black zipper top. I shrugged by shoulders before taking my dress up over my head, receiving a few whistles. Surprisingly Peter told everyone to shut up and held up a towel in front of me to get changed. I thanked him and got ready for training.


	4. Training

We all made our way to the training room, which four had showed us on the way to our dorm room. When we arrived i noticed Four and Eric standing at the top end of the room and walked over to them. We all crowded round and listened for the next instructions. "You will all go through two stages of training, the first will be physical the second will be mental, as said you will train separately from the dauntless born but will all be ranked together. Your ranking will determine your position here whether that be leadership or guarding the wall" four stated, i nodded my head. "Rankings will also determine who gets cut" Eric announced getting up from his seated position and walking towards us, I felt my heart leap at the thought. "This means that should you fail, you will be factionless, you choose us now we get to choose you" he said causing whispers to erupt through the group.

I had began to think that i had made the wrong decision here. There i was thinking I would be clever and choose dauntless to try and prove a point, that we don't all need to surrender to where we are born or what the test tells us but that we can succeed in different environments. How stupid do i feel now, i could potentially end up factionless. There was no way i was was going to let that happen. I looked over at peter and gave him a nod, he seemed to know exactly what i meant by this as he nodded back. We were in this to win it, no matter what the consequence, no mater what we had to do. An understanding was formed in this moment.

Four split us up into pairs and sent us to various mats and bags to start practicing punching and blocking, i got paired with a Candor transfer a girl names lizzie. She seemed nice and happened to also be friend with Peter, so seemed to work out well for us. I had been hitting the bag while she was holding it but i just seemed to be getting sore hands rather than actually doing any damage to the bag. Four had been walking around with Eric observing us and had noted my poor effort. "You need to put your whole body weight into the punches" he told me i nodded my head and lent back and punched with more force and the bag swung a bit, knocking Lizzie off balance, i smiled to myself and turned to thank Four, he then moved on to help tris who seemed to be having the same issues as me.

Eric then announced that he wanted to see a fight, so he choose Tris as the first jumper and a girl who jumped last, we all gathered round. The other girl looked much larger than tris and i was actually worried that tris would get hurt in this, i mean what does she know about fighting coming form abnegation. I mean I don't know much either but at least i could learn quickly, it was part of my traits, poor tris didn't even have a chance. "This should be good" Peter whispered to me but i kept on looking at the mat. Four and Eric seemed to be bickering about the not allowed to surrender rule but it didn't make a difference the fight was on and tris was already being hammered. I winced as the other girl landed a massive blow to the side of her head and knocked her out cold. Please do not pair me with her was all I could think. There goes the lack of Amity i laughed to myself, earring a weird look from Peter. We were then all sent back to the dorms as tris was taken to the nurse.

Peter, Lizzie and I decided to go a walk round the compound to see more of Dauntless. We found ourself at the pit where all the action happened, we grabbed something for dinner and found a spot to sit. I looked around the room and saw Tris sitting with four and some others at a table near by, "that's interesting" I said to peter and Lizzie nodding over at tris. "Jealous" Peter asked i shook my head while Lizzie laughed "he's not my type Peter" i told him "So who is your type Erudite" someone asked and i turned round to see Eric standing behind me with his arms behind his back, a mischievous look on his face "No one you know" i smiled at him but his smirk just go bigger "Well, if it's no one i know your going to be alone for a long time Erudite. Your only options are in this room, Well that's if you make it" he said my face began to distor in anger but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. I had a hunch and i was going with it "Ah but we Erudites have high expectancy levels, you should know all about that Eric". The rage began to build in his eyes at this and his smirk dropped. Bingo, i thought to myself. "See you in training" he told me, obviously trying to intimidate me, he started to walk of but i shouted over to him "Ilianna, My name is ilianna" he stopped but did not turn back around and stormed out of the room.

"What was that about" asked Lizzie, i took a bite out of my burger before swallowing and smiling at her "Ive just figured out a little something about Eric that he probably hoped I wouldn't" i told her which just made her and peter look even more confused.

After dinner we decided to initiate our self's into dauntless properly by getting a tattoo each. I went for a ivy vein which travelled up my shoulder blade, to show growth. This after all was my main reason for joining Dauntless. Afterwards we retired to our bunks in the dorm. I laid down staring at the ceiling with a smile on my face, i really think that i am going to be okay here. I realised pretty quickly that Eric was in fact Eric who had transferred from Erudite a few years before me, I remembered him from the various talks the older students would give on things they had learned, i am sure his was on the serums that we helped produce for the factions. I admired him for his intellect and passion. Now he seems a lot colder but who am i to judge i didn't know him back then but i would like to possibly get to know him a bit more now. I shook my head and turned over, focus on your goal, stay in this faction. By any means i told myself.

ERIC POV

I tossed and turned in my bed not being able to get that stupid comment out of my head. How did she remember me from Erudite, i mean i must be at least 4 years older than her, we couldn't have even met and yet there she goes spouting off her mouth in front of everyone. I tuned over onto my back staring at the ceiling and let out a sigh. I don't remover her and part of me thinks i would have, I haven't seen eyes such vivid green eyes and her hair, it was so silky looking. Stop, i thought. What the hell is going though your head, she's a stupid initiate. Nothing special and i bet she wont even make in through. I sighed again doubting my thoughts. I will just have to make sure she doesn't make it though then. I don't want her rembering anything else and thinking we could be friends. I made it to where i am on my own by any means necessary and that's the way it's going to stay.

I finally turned over going to sleep thinking of that stupid Erudite initiate, ilianna.


	5. Fight

We all woke the next morning to the sound of banging, i shot up straight in my bunk and searched for the location of the noise, only to find four hitting the water pipe with a metal bar "Get up initiates training room 10minutes" he shouted. Everyone began to hurry to get dressed, I quickly changed into a black sports bra with high waist leggings and black trainers before running along the corridor with the other initiates.

It was clear we would be starting our fights today, it had been explained to us that we would be paired up against each other and would fight till we could go on no more, that was clear form trisss fight yesterday. I then looked around to see Tris waiting in line with the rest of us. I am surprised by her resilience. Peter seemed to be very annoyed that she was back so quickly "threatened by the abnegation Peter?" I questioned him, "not in a million" he whispered to me i just nodded my head at him. "As you all know you are being ranked based on these fights, look at the board to see your current rankings and who you will fight in todays session" Eric called as he stepped forward. I rushed over to see my ranking and i was 20th out of 30 initiates, peter was 8th which caused him to tease me relentless, well something had to change about this. I was fighting a amity transfer names Louise. I smiled to myself as I walked over to the mat to begin.

"Okay initiates when your ready" Four told us and we began to circle each other. I quickly noticed how she lurched with her left food just before she went to attack so i dodged her advance easily. I waited until i saw her make a move before punching her in the throat which caused her to fall over and clutch her thoat trying to catch a breath. I took my opetunity to kick her in the ribs and whack her head into the mat a few times. I stood back up and looked at her and she was conscious but not making any effort to shield herself or fight back. I looked to Eric and Four but before Four could speak Eric chipped in "Go on then Erudite finish her off" he smirked while crossing his arms. I glared at him and looked back to the girl on the floor who was breathing heavily, i pulled her to her feet and gave her a minute to defend or attack but she didn't "Erudite NOW" Eric roared so i lent back and threw a punch right at her temple, knocking her out cold on the mat. I turned breathing heavily to look at Eric "happy?" I asked him and he smiled back at me "No" he said before moving on to the next fight.

I hated fighting, hated it but if this was my way into Dauntless then so be it, I couldn't let anyone get in my way but i also couldn't let Eric get in my head and i hate to admit that he was. He annoyed me to no degree with his pompous attitude, i mean did the guy ever crack a smile. Four was much more pleasant and understanding but i knew he did not have as much weight hear as Eric did.

After all of the fights were complete we started to pack up our towels and water bottles to leave. "You coming Ilianna" Peter asked, "Yeah i will be two second, get you at the dorms" i told him he nodded and walked out of the room. I looked around for my water bottle after tying up my laces but couldn't seem to find it anywhere. "I know i left it here" i said to myself as i looked around the benches. "Missing something" i heard from behind me. I turned round to see Eric with my water bottle in hand, i walked towards him without a word to retrieve it but when i reached out for it he grabbed my arm. "Let go" i told him as fiercely as i could muster, he tilted his head and scrunched his eyes up at me "Cute, you think you scare me" he mocked "No, I'm not stupid but I'm not weak either" i told him, I looked down at my wrist to see it was beginning to redden from his grip. I looked back up to his eyes to see him staring at me with that smirk on his face, wow his eyes are really clear i thought then shook my head causing him to laugh and pull me formward into him.

"What are you doing" i questioned him trying to look anywhere but right at him. "Your smart right" he questioned and i rolled by eyes at him "Don't do that" he seethed at me "I am your leader and you should show me some respect" he told me. I seemed to get some courage from god knows where and decided to lean up to him having to stand on my tip toes he just stared at me, i titled my head to the side and smiled at him "I only give respect to those who respect others" i whispered in his ear causing him to fling me to the ground. I hit the floor with a hard thud causing me to wince. He stood staring at me breathing heavily before storming out of the room. I rubbed my sore bum thinking it was definitely going to bruise before grabbing my water bottle form the floor and heading back to the dorms.

Peter was waiting for me at the dorms just as i said. "What took you so long" he questioned, I walked past him to our bunk and put my stuff on the bed "Eric" i told him with a sigh, he leaned against the door way with a smirk on his face "what" I asked him he looked to the floor then looked back up at me "You know that guy has a crush on you right" he said out of no where. My eyes widened and I stared at him "what planet did you come from" i asked causing him to laugh and walk over to me "Come on Ilianna, look at you, your the hottest here by a mile. Well except for me of course" I picked up my pillow and whacked him over the head "Your an idiot do you know that" i told him "For an Erudite your not so bright yourself" he said "You are seriously going to get it Peter" "Bring it" he replied. This caused me to tackle him to the ground thus resulting in us both trying to pin each other, sadly brute strength one this time ending with me lying on the floor with him sitting on my hips with my arms pinned above my head.. This just got awkward real quick. "Are you going to let me up" i questioned him but he just stared at me "Peter" i asked again causing him to blink and get off me, i sat up but he didn't say a word "i need to go find will" he said and walked out of the room. What the hell was that about.

I stood up and went to get a shower before changing into plain clothes to go to diner. I looked around the hall to see peter at a table with others there were no spaces, i then saw Tris sitting with Christina, will, four and Lizzie so i went over to sit with them "hey guys" i announced as i took a seat at the table, they all smiled over at me. "Good work today Ilianna" Four noted as he looked over "Thanks" i told him as i began to eat my meal. We all sat in silence for a while until Triss started asking questions about Eric, which peaked my interest. "Why do you want to know" Four asked "He seems a bit off" said Tris which was the understatement of the year "Did he transfer like you or has he always been Dauntless" she questioned. Interesting, Four was a transfer i wonder where from. "We don't talk about our old factions and neither should you. You are Dauntless now that's all that matters" Four told the group. I debated telling them what i knew about Eric being from Erudite and what i knew of him but decided against it, i knew it wasn't a smart move.


	6. Target Practice

Target practice, our next training sessions was all about target practice, first with guns then with knifes. I had never carried or held a gun but i had read about them but i have carried a knife. Let's just say that not everything has always been sweet and rosey in my life.

It had been a couple of weeks of fighting which left the majority of us black and blue and apparently theses were still to continue throughout initiation. Peter had been relatively unscathed but myself and Lizzie were covered in bruises. I had now moved up to rank 14, not where i wanted to be but at least out of the danger zone. Peter was now at number two and i hated him a bit for it, not that he didn't deserve it because he did. I guess it was a bit of jealousy. I put on a black crop top with leather pants since we were knife throwing today, i knew I didn't need to get physical. Hopefully.

I stood with one foot in front and the other behind, side on and flicked the knife at the target hitting the bullseye, some of the initiates look round at me with wide eyes as most of their knifes hit the floor "finally found something your good at" Peter asked me from my side "Finally found your balls Peter" i questioned causing some giggles from the row, Peter just smirked at me and pretended to tilt his imagnery cap. "Stop" Eric suddenly shouted and we looked round to see Will walking towards the targets and standing to face Four. You have got to be kidding me I thought. Eric announced that if he moved he would be out of Dauntless, the guy looked terrified and refused to look up. Tris suddenly piped up telling Eric that what he was doing was no big deal and that anyone could do it. "Your a bright one" i said sarcastically then everyone turned to me, ive done it again i thought. Eric smirked at me while i got glares from Christina, tris and four. Tris went to stand at the target and Four began throwing the knifes at her, she never moved once but i have to admit i flinched on that last one. Four had nicked her ear with the knife, i think on purpose, just to prove a point to Eric.

Four liked Tris, that had been obvious for weeks and if i knew that meant Eric knew to. Let's be real here he is not stupid. This was a show for his benefit. Everyone disbanded at Erics orders once the "show" was finished. Peter walked up to me shaking his head "what did i tell you about not being very clever" he mocked "Yeah yeh, so sometimes i say things that don't go through my filter doesn't mean that I don't mean what i say" i told him before hoisting my bag up over my shoulder. He placed an arm over my shoulder and turned me towards the exit "You know Lil i think you should have transferred to Candor, always speaking the truth right" he said i looked at his hand over my shoulder but thought nothing of it before i could get a word out we heard Eric "What have we said about discussing other factions" Eric asked, Peter said nothing but removed his arm from round my shoulders "Move along Peter i need to speak with Erudite" he told him, peter just nodded his head and walked down the corridor as i glared after him.

"What" i asked as i glared at him "Why so defensive i only wanted to let you know that you have moved up the rankings today" he replied i looked at him like he just grew a second head "You know Erudite I'm not convinced that your as pure and as kind as you claim to be" he started circling me at this point and i tried to focus straight ahead "I think your actually ruthless and cunning, don't get me wrong your smart but not in a good kind of way" i felt him touch my shoulder and slowly drag his hand across to my mid back before wrapping his hand in my pony tail while the other went to rest on my waist. I froze not knowing where to move "You know I've heard that before, there's a word for it" i told him, he lent down to my ear and hummed "I'm artful" i told him and he let out a chuckle releasing his hold on me "yeah your something all right" he laughed as he walked away I quickly spun round "Ilianna" i shouted at him, this time he stopped and turned around and smirked "Goodnight ilianna" he told me before making his way down the corridor. I didn't realise i had been holding in my breath until i let it out in once big puff. A smile broke out on to my face, he used my name...and it sounded amazing.

That night we all decided to go to one of the parties in the pit that get held every so often, it had been weeks of training and we all needed to unwind. I wasn't so popular with Tris crew after my little remark at training so i had limited friends but this did not bother me. Lizzie and i had gotten ready together with me deciding to wear a simple black dress with cut out sides and a sweetheart neckline, a brilliant chance to wear a dress again, I hadn't worn once since i left Erudite. Peter and two of his friends Tom and Louis were coming with us. They had just walked into the room as i was tying the string on my heel, i looked up to see Peter just standing by the door way staring at me and i began to get self conscious, i stood up and pulled my dress down a bit. "What's wrong" i questioned pulling at my dress Louis looked at him and elbowed him in the ribs causing Peter to hit him back "No nothing nothing you look amazing" he said and I couldn't help but blush a little. Lizzie turned to me and smirked and i shook my head at her "Ready to go" she asked and i nodded before grabbing her arm and walking to the pit with the boys.

The music was blaring, some type of dance track by the sounds of it and there were people everywhere, initiates, leaders and other dauntless members all mingling. I looked to Lizzie and smiled as we walked over to the bar area to get seats, the boys followed. "Do you want anything" Peter asked as i sat down "Ehm yeah just whatever they will give you will be fine" not really sure if they will actually serve us. Peter came back with glasses of pop for us all with an angry look on his face "Apparently initiates are not allowed to Drink" he stated as he sat the drinks down and sat by me, resting a hand on my thigh. I looked down at it as he spoke away to Tom. I really should ask him to move it, I don't want to give him the wrong idea but he's my friend and probably doesn't mean any harm. I move my hair over to one shoulder, having it down for the first time in a while felt great. It reached my mid back and had a naural wave though it. "Dance" Lizzie asked as she held her hand out to me as a new faster song came on i nodded and grabbed her hand squeezing past Peter to head to the dance floor.

PETER POV

I watched as she headed off to the dance floor with Izzie just as a piece of popcorn flew at my head i looked over to see Tom and Louis laughing "What" i asked them as i threw the piece back at them "Try not to drool" Tom laughed at me i shook my head at him "What I don't like her" i told him "Yeah right" Louis responded "She's hot okay, are you blind" i asked them pointing at Ilianna as she sways her hips to the beat. Louis looks back over at me after watching her "No mate were not blind, we see that but we also see that you have no chance in hell with that girl" Louis said my heart did drop a little but i refused to show it "She's only concentrating on one thing and that's getting through this initiation she's not interested in anyone" Tom said. Yeah that's what you think i thought but refused to speak anymore. I had my suspicions that Ilianna liked Eric and hell i knew he liked her but i wanted to keep that to myself, well at least until i could use it for good leverage if needed. I knew leaders and initiates were not allowed to have relationships so that little gem might just come in handy.

ERIC POV

I looked around from the balcony in the pit at the endless sea of people dancing and swaying about like a bunch of idiots. I don't dance, ever, i come to these things to get a drink and watch these idiots make a fool out of themselves it makes for great amo against them later. I took another swig from my beer and spotted reddish hair flying about i looked down to see Ilianna and her friend dancing in the middle of the floor. I thought nothing of it until i saw another dauntless member, Chris coming up beside her. He seemed to whisper something in her ear which made her turn around and start to dance with him, her hips swayed to the music as his hands travelled down to rest low on her waist. No, i was not okay with this. I felt my anger start to boil as they continued to dance together, watching as her beautiful red hair swayed from side to side and her curvy body moved to the music, i gulped slightly at the thought and took a long drink from my beer, finishing it off and slamming it down on the table before making my was downstairs.

Normal POV

I was having a great time dancing with Lizzie until someone interrupted, i found out his name was Chris, we talked a bit as we danced and he seemed lovely he lent down to whisper in my ear "You look wow" he told me causing me to laugh "That the best adjective that you have" i questioned him just as he went to reply i heard another voice, Eric, he seemed to have a habit of doing this "Exquisite" he said and i stopped and looked up at him, did he just complement me i questioned myself "Hi Eric" Chris began but he cut him off "I think you should be getting back to the control room don't you Chris" he said as he raised an eye brow at him almost daring him to reject, Chris only nodded his head and walked off through the crowd somewhere. I was annoyed, clearly, i mean who does he think he is coming in and chasing off anyone i talk to "You know you have a habit of interrupting my conversations" I told him, he actually let out a laugh, a fake one but a laugh non the less "Come with me" he said and grabbed my wrist pulling me out of the pit and down a corridor.

"Let go" i shouted at him trying to pull away but to no avail, finally he stopped and pushed me back against the wall with his hands on either side of my head, i stopped breathing again. We just looked into each other eyes "You know since you arrived you have done nothing but piss me off" he said i went to retort but he shushed me by placing a finger on my lips "Your clever little remarks, your know it all facade but that's all it is isn't it. You actually do belong here don't you, you want to be here because you don't want to fail its just not in you, you think that's an Erudite trait but its not its a Dauntless one, Dauntless don't quit, ever and you know that" he finished. I didn't know what the point of his speech had been but it struck me i felt a small tear run down my face which he caught on his finger before looking back up into my eyes.

He brought one hand to the back of my head and tangled it in my long hair causing my breath to hitch, my stomach was flipping, i couldn't catch a breath and worst of all he knew it. Then without warning he crashed his lips down to mine pushing my head into his i didn't respond at first but then it was like I couldn't help it, like someone else took over, i kissed him back, hard. He pulled at my hair as I wrapped my arms round his neck causing him to push me into the wall i grunted at the slight pain which caused him to release a small moan, his hands travelled down to my waist caressing up and down my sides and i pulled at his hair biting his lip, suddenly he pulled back and shoved me off him. We both stood there panting, me leaning against the wall. He took one last look at me before storming off down the hall and leaving me standing there wondering what the hell just happened.


	7. Capture

We all awoke the next morning the the usual banging noise on the pipe, one day I'm going to rip that pipe off the wall so that they stop doing that. Suddenly a face appear at my bed causing me to jump and hit my head on the top bunk. "Peter" i shouted at him, which just got a smile, he jumped down off his bunk "So, where did you go to last night?" He questioned me, sitting down on my bed beside me "Back to the dorm" i told his but he didn't look convinced, I didn't want to be questioned anymore so i stood up to go for a shower.

I couldn't even answer his questions if i wanted to, heck I didn't even know what happened. Why did he kiss me? Why did i kiss back? And then why did he walk away?. That part stung a little, i knew what we did was wrong but he's the leader here, he's the one that should know better. He shouldn't start something that he doesn't want to continue. I sighed as i let the wate cleanse my body. Just don't think about him Ilianna, just don't but that was harder than i thought, i knew there was something there, a spark an interest. Eric was a mystery, a puzzle and there's nothing i love more than problem solving, its the perfect mental stimulation for me. This is not what i meant when i was looking for it but if i can figure him out then i might be able to solve this problem and the main concern, passing this initiation.

We all gathered in the training room later that night to be told that we were heading into the city, I couldn't have been more thrilled, finally we were getting out of here. We all moved to the tracks to jump on the train into the city, as usually Peter and i sat together as we watched everyone cram onto the two carriages, I couldn't keep the smile off my face and the thought of getting some freedom. Eric then dumped a bag on the floor shutting up the carriage, we all turned to him, me struggling to keep eye contact. He lifted what looked like a gun out of the bag "capture the flag" he said and everyone but looked around confused "We will split into two teams, Four and I are team captains, the aim is to hide your flag while trying to capture the other teams flag first. These will be your weapons" he announced. The larger Candor girl then spoke up mocking the look of the so called gun before Eric shot her in the leg. "Sim darts" i said aloud, Eric ignored my comment and proceeded to tell everyone that they were sim darts, used to simulate the pain of a shot gun wound. Just like i said i thought smartly but kept this one to myself. "You can choose first" Four announced to Eric who smirked and chose Edward, he was in first position above Peter. Peter scoffed and turned to me "Can you believe that"2 he asked me "Yes, he's first position. Erics out to win" i told him which caused him to cove me harshly, i let that one go. Four then chose Tris, not that i was shocked and judging by the look on Erics face he wasn't either, like i say i cant admit that he's not smart. I ended up on Fours team, knowing that Eric would never pick me. Peter got picked as Erics second choice, which perked him up a bit.

Tris was tasked with finding the flag with Four while some of us hid our flag and helped Four and Tris to claim the other one, I wasn't the best shooter so tried to stay to the shadows and keep myself out of trouble, this wasn't a game of Braun it was a game of Brain, which suited me perfectly. A group of four of us had ended up together while Tris went off with Four to get the flag from the other team situated in one of the towers, I watched as Peter came round a corner to try and shoot Christina only to be shot by Tris, i checked the surroundings and quickly ran over to him. "You okay you idiot" i asked his as i crouched down to remove the darts, he sat up slowly "Those things pack a punch" he complained causing me to chuckle "Well need to get back to winning, see you" i told him as i got up t follow Four as Tris headed to the tower. "Need help" i asked as he crouched behind a container he quickly spun round to me "No offence Ilianna but your not a great shot" he said, I didn't take offence i knew that "I know that thanks but i also know that Eric is right behind that container in front of you and its going to be all out war to get past him" he raised an eye brown wondering how i knew that "I'm observant" i told him, "Anyway, i have an idea" i told him.

Four went with my plan so i got up and snuck round the various debris while four distracted Eric with miscellaneous gun fire, i saw Eric crouching down peeking round the corner at Four, Wow he looks good in this light i thought. I raised by gun and concentrated on my target, Eric. I pulled the trigger and a shot got his right in the arm causing him to fall against the container, i quickly ran over to him and pushed his gun away from him he looked up and if looks could kill I'd be dead right now "Sorry needs must" i told him just before running off quickly followed by Four who smiled down at Eric as we ran i hear the shout of "Ilianna!" I winced causing Four to chuckle "Oh your in for it now" he laughed at me. Tris and Christina ended up capturing the other teams flag resulting in us taking the win, we all cheered on the way back to the complex.

As we all disembarked the train those who won were in high spirits, Peter not sign one of them he was too busy complaining about his sore leg "Oh shut up you cry baby its not that bad" i told him "You didn't get shot how would you know" he asked in anger, i gave him a short hug which seemed to cheer him up a bit "What was that for" he asked "To help with the pain, Your a good friend do you know that" i smiled and him but i saw a waver in his eyes he looked sad but I wasn't sure why. I decided not to push the mater and we walked back to the dorms in silence.

I couldn't sleep that night, no mater how hard i tried, i tossed and turned and eventually sighed in frustration. I flung my legs over the bed trying not to wake anyone up and quickly pulled my shoes on before heading out of the dorms to walk around the compound. I had a lot on my mind, i was doing well in rankings so I wasn't as worried about not making in through but I couldn't get a certain leader out of my head. I raked a hand though my long hair as i store down the corridors towards the training room, unsure of where else to go. As i approached i could here what sounded like fits against a bad, i squinted my eyes confused as to why someone else was up this late and training none the less. I walked diligently through the door way into the turning and spotted someone hitting a bag over and over again, he had clearly been here a while as i could see the sweat poring down his bare back, that's when i noticed the tattoos. Eric.

What are the chances, i mean really. I just stood by the door way watching him work in awe, he truly was mesmerising and I couldn't help but walk closer. I started walking over, trying to be as silent as i could just admiring him from afar, i had the thought of how creepy this probably looked but at this moment I didn't care. Just then i felt myself trip over something on the floor landing with a loud thud, flat on my face. Eric, quickly spun round and saw me sprawled out on the floor. I cant believe it, i looked back at what i had fallen over and saw a weight sitting out in the middle fo the floor. I silently cursed whoever left that sitting there "What are you doing here Erudite" Eric asked in a menacing tone I looked up at him before standing up and brushing myself of, noticing that i only had one a pair of shorts and my crop top. Brilliant. I watched him as he slowly raked his eyes down my body, causing heat to rise in my cheeks. "I uh well its just" but I couldn't find the word i mean how to i say i was just secretly watching you, no. I saw a small smile break out onto his face as he started to unwrap his hands, i watched as he slowly unwound the tape. "Staring is not polite" he told me "I was not staring" i told him crossing my arms over my chest and cocking my hip out he looked up from new rapping his hands, dropping one bandage on the floor before slowly walking over to me "Is it not passed your bedtime Erudite" he asked as he stopped in front of me, we were within touching distance now.

"Bedtime?" I question looking up at him "No one said that if we transfer to Dauntless we get surrogate parents" i sassed him, knowingly it probably wasn't the best idea but just not caring, he didn't look angry he actually smiled at me before reaching out and placing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I stopped breathing again. "This would be seriously inappropriate for a father figure" he told me and i went to speak but he cut me off with his lips against mine but i honestly didn't mind he began to kiss me roughly as i kissed back just as hard the two of up grabbing at each other. He trailed a hand down my leg and whispered in my ear "Jump" i quickly jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist before leaning in again to kiss him, he carried us over to the wall pressing me up against it. His hands on my bare skin made me feel as f i was on fire, I moved my hands form round his neck confident that he wouldn't drop me and began to explore his chest down his abs and stopping just at the top of his trouser, he suddenly pulled away from me still holding me against the wall.

We were both breathing heavily and just staring at each other "Don't start something that you cant finish" he warned me and i knew what he meant, i was pushing it. I wouldn't go any further than this, that i knew for sure. I nodded my head slowly and he carried my face with one hand while still gripping on to my thigh with the other "What are you doing to me" he asked me, causing me to furrow my eye brows. I began to un tangle my legs from his waist so i could slip back to the floor and he quickly let go of my legs. He placed his hands on my waist nearly completely encircling me, I couldn't help but smile. His thumbs arrested my exposed sides causing goosebumps to appear on my skin "I think i should get back" i told him while looking unsure but he nodded his head stepping away from me to unwrap his other hand. "Eric" i asked him, he turned back to look at me and I've never felt more vulnerable "Were good aren't we" i asked him he chuckled "Were fine Erudite" he told me with an amused look, it stung, the fact that he wont use my name. It just showed me what this really meant to him. I was in way over my head here and i felt a small bile of anger rise, more at myself than him "Good, I wouldn't want this to harm my rankings" i told him, i knew that it was harsh but I didn't think he was as into this as me, this was just a game to him. His brown furrowed and i saw the anger flash in his eye, maybe i got this wrong. "You know Erudite, your perfectly cut out for Dauntless so I wouldn't worry" but i could tell he didn't mean this as a compliment it was a nod to be being ruthless as i called me, i knew it. My stomach dropped and i felt a tear coming to my eye so i quickly left the room.


	8. Complications

Eric POV

I watched her leave the room noticing that she was about to cry, i made her feel like that i thought. Causing rage to build up in me, i turned and punched the first thing that was there, the wall. I heard the crack of my knuckles breaking and the blood run down my hand. "Shit" i shouted knowing no one was around to hear. She's literally going to be the death of me, what am i doing. I shouldn't be touching her, kissing her, anything! I will lose my position, all that ive worked for and for what, her?! But the truth was "she", Ilianna, she was worth it.

I couldn't believe what i was thinking, this was just not me but there is something about her, there's been something about her since the first day i laid eyes on her. That uncontrollable mouth of hers made me chuckle on more than one occasion, the girl just said it as it was, no filter and i loved it, she was tough mentally and physically, she was determined, so smart, yes she was cunning or artful as she so eloquently put it. I liked this girl, i really liked her and I didn't know what to do about it.

I walked back to my apartment through the corridors constantly thinking about her, i no longer had training, or plans or initiation or moving up leadership on my mind, it was her, just her and i pushed her away, just like i do with everything but her comment hurt me, not that i would ever admit that but it did. Here i was thinking that i actually like this girl, care for her in a way that i have never cared for anyone and all she can think about his her precious ranking. This thought made the anger flare up again, well i can make sure she doesn't make it, make her life a living hell but i knew inside I couldn't, I couldn't see her factionless, i wanted her to stay. Purely for selfish reasons i knew, if she stays we have a chance, we could try and work things out. If she wanted but i was in doubt. For the first time ever, i doubted my own thoughts.

My bed finally looked inviting, no more thoughts just sleep, a peaceful mind that's what i needed but all I dreamt of was her, her smile, her laugh, her beautiful big eyes. I was in deep and I didn't know how to get back out again.

Normal POV

Idiot, i am an Idiot. That's all i could think as i walked to breakfast the next morning. How could i be so stupid, to think that he was interested in me. I looked to find Peter, really needing him just now, i saw him sitting alone at the end of one of the tables, perfect. I walked over and sat down next to him barley able to keep the smile on my face.

"What's wrong" he asked immediately, that is not what i needed i felt the tears starts to come again as I held them back frowning "Lil" he questioned touching my arm. Lil was the cute nickname Peter had came up with for me complaining that my name was too long, i had told him a million times that my name was ILIanna not Lilyanna but it didn't seem to make a difference. I looked up at him wiping a few stray tears away "I'm fine honest, just being stupid" i told him causing him to frown "Your not stupid Lil, I don't think anyone could ever call you stupid" he told me comfortingly and continued to rub up and down my arm. I felt warmer inside again thanks to him, that's why we got on, he made me smile, always. "Do you want to leave? We've got a free day today" he told me with a smile i nodded my head, grabbing a muffin and leaving with Peter.

We sat back in the dorms talking about everything and anything, he told me all about his life in Candor and I told him about mine, well as much as i could. There were things that no one needed to know about my life, not even Peter. We talked for hours, the two of us just lying on his bunk staring at the ceiling. I looked down to see his hand out stretched looking for mine so i lent down and grasped his hand with my own. He looked over to me at this point with both of our heads laying on the pillow, when we turned we were almost nose to nose. I started to feel a bit uncomfortable but tried not to let it show. He lifted a hand and caressed my cheek before placing it on the back of my head and i began to panic "Peter I don't think" i began but he spoke over me "Just let me try" he almost pleaded. So i did, he kissed me softly and sweetly, nothing like Eric but i didn't know if this was a good or bad thing. I let him kiss me but i didn't kiss back, he pulled away and just looked at me waiting for a reaction, I looked away unable to face him.

"It's Eric isn't it" he asked me while sitting up causing me to sit up too i looked at him slightly open mouthed. How did he know, he looked down and chuckled "I know Ilianna, I know about the two of you" he stated never looking at me, i ran a hand through my hair becoming nervous, how, how did he know. I remained silent "I also know that its forbidden for a leader to see a initiate" he smirked back up at me. The little shit, I thought as i sent him a glare "Really Peter, your going to black mail me" i asked he shook his head "No I'm not, I'm going to blackmail him because you just gave me all of the confirmation that i needed" he replied with a sly smile. I couldn't help it i lashed out and smacked him straight across the face, i even shocked myself "Peter, I'm sorry" i said as i tried to reach out for him but he grabbed my hand and squeezed hard causing me to wince "Don't touch me, not after I know where those hands have been" he looked at me in disgust "What? You think I've slept with him" i question him and he pulls me to him "Obviously" he sneered "You dont know me at all then do you, ive not slept with him and i have no intentions of ever sleeping with him, Sorry for blowing your little plan" i told him as i took my arm out of his grip and jumped off the bunk "Bet your good at that at least eh Ilianna" he questioned, i stopped in my tracks and went to turn back around but stopped myself "Do you know what Peter sometime you are going to have to learn that you do not always get what you want in life" before i stormed out of the room.

I ran down the corridor desperate to get away from everyone before i turned a corner and bumped into Four he went to scold me but saw the tears streaming down my face and softened. I just looked at him, in that moment i needed comfort from anyone it didn't mater who so i hugged him, as tight as i could. He stiffened up immediately before eventually returning the hug and i just cried. I needed to let it out. He just stood there and let me cry and that's what i needed. "I am not going to ask what's wrong because i don't want to make things worse but you need to pull yourself together, your Dauntless now, you are brave and strong" he told me and that's exactly what i needed.

"Move on fast don't you Initiate" I heard the booming voice of Eric, i did not need this not now. I pulled away from Four who was looking at Eric in confusion "What's going on" he asked looking between the two of us. No more tears, i need to deal with this the way a dauntless would, ruthless just like Eric told me. I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked at Eric causing him to look at me with confusion. "Go on then Eric tell him" I challenged. Four then turned to look at me "Tell me what, what's going on" he asked once more turning from me to Eric, I could see Eric visually shaking from anger which only caused me to smile more "No? Shall i tell him then" i asked Eric tilting my head to the side. He looked like he was about to explode but said nothing "Four" i questioned and he looked at me "What?" He asked suddenly looking worried "Correct me if i am wrong but is there not a rule where leaders cant fraternise with initiates?" I questioned him and his eyes suddenly lit up in realisation he quickly turned to Eric who looked from me to Four "Oh dont give me that Four we all know your sleeping with the abnegation" he shouted at him.

I knew what i did was wrong and insanely stupid but it was definitely making me feel better in the moment. Four glared at Eric and made his way over to him "You know that's not true Eric and besides i am no leader so the rules don't apply even if I was" he told him surprisingly calm "I am not sleeping with the initiate" he bellowed at him while pointing at me. I strode over to them "The initiate" i questioned him "Really, that's what i am today?" They both looked at me confused "One day I'm Erudite, then an initiate, then dauntless, then Ilianna, then exquisite. Well what is it Eric!" I screamed at him, ive had enough. Four placed a hand on my shoulder trying to pull me back a bit as Eric stepped forward shoving Four out of the way and pining me to the wall. "Eric" four shouted at him but he ignored him. Erics hand was round my throat "You are all of them, All!" He shouted "self righteous, stubborn, fiery, kind, smart, brave and beautiful" as the list went on our anger softened towards each other. Four just stood looking between the two of us. "Yes, Four i like her, i like Ilianna, ive kissed Ilianna and I will sleep with her whenever I feel like it!" he shouted and let go of me at the same time. Four just stared at him like he had gone mad and i think that he had. He looked back at me and I didn't know what to say. "I'm going to leave you alone, i think you need to talk this out" Four announced as he turned he stopped "Eric" he asked and Eric quickly turned glaring at him "I'm glad to see your not dead inside after all. Oh and back off Tris, now that ive got some leverage on you i think we can come to an understanding" he mused as he walked off down the corridor.


	9. Talk it out

I watched four walk of down the corridor secretly wishing he would come back to dissolve this awkward cloud that had now formed between Eric and i. I looked at my nails and bit my lip, anything to avoid looking at Eric. I heard him scoff and lean against the other wall across the corridor, causing me to finally look up but he was staring at the floor with an unreadable expression on his face.

"So that's it" he questioned looking up at me causing me to look down again, he pushed himself off the wall "Well done, You got your rise out of me Ilianna" he told me before turning to walk off. "Stop" i said In a weak tone. He stopped and turned around to look at me while crossing his arms over his chest. He had closed up again, I could sense it. "We need to talk about this" I told him but he shook his head "ive said all I need to say, I think it's your turn to talk" he pushed me. I released a breath and started "I'm sorry" I began "I am sorry for causing you so much trouble, I am sorry for being a gigantic pain in your ass, I am sorry for loosing the plot all of the time, I am sorry for being a bitch but I am not sorry that I like you" I finished. I walked over to Eric and looked up at him "I do like you, I think we both know I've liked you for a while now. Hey if I didn't I wouldn't have let you kiss me" I laughed causing him to chuckle "I just don't know how to deal with this" I said pointing between us. Eric nodded his head before taking my hand and staring at it intently " I don't know either but I think we should keep whatever this is to ourselves for the moment, no mater how all mighty Four claims to be we can't take any risk. We are still not allowed to be together" I couldn't help but smile and gently stroke his hand that was holding on to mine "We are going to be absolutely volatile you know that right" I laughed but he just smirked "I'm counting on it" he told me before grabbing my face and kissing me forcefully.

...TIME SKIP...

It had been a week since Eric and I had told each other how we felt, well in our own way and we had managed to keep things on the down low. It had been relatively easy since he was always so busy and I really didn't have many friends to talk to about it even if I was allowed to. Peter hadn't spoken to me since that day and I had no plans to reach out the hand of friendship, Lizzie and I were still in talking terms but for whatever reason she seemed to take Peters side on our friendship break up, Four would speak to me if he happened to be passing and in training just to make sure I was okay and Eric hadn't tried to beat me up for my annoying ways, I couldn't blame him for that.

We had started out the second stage of initiation this week with our fear sims. I hadn't been yet but I excepted to be called in any minute. Just at that Four called me into the room and I sat down in the chair and looked round at him. "I assume you know how this works" he questioned me, i nodded my head having studied the serums in Erudite. He moved the hair from the left hand side of my neck and slowly injected the serum, I felt everything go black.

When I awoke I seemed to be sitting in a giant tree, heights? I questioned myself, I wasn't afraid of heights. I looked around and noticed a rustling in a near by bush, I squinted to make out what it was and suddenly a giant bird leapt out and flew straight at me and i began to panic. No no no i shouted as I turned and made my way down from the tree in a scramble before getting close enough to jump off. I turned and the bird was now heading straight for me so I ran and ran and ran, my lungs were on fire and the bird just kept coming. I suddenly tripped and fell and the bird started flapping all around my head and I screamed and thrashed. Stop Ilianna stop I spoke to myself. You can't stop the bird so just relax I tried to persuade myself. I squeezed my eyes shut and thought of happier things, Eric. He immediately came to mind and a smile broke out on my face. I opened my eyes to see the bright lights of the holding room shining right in my face.

I turned to Four who had a smile on his face "What, enjoy watching me squirm or something" i asked while sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the chair, he stopped pressing buttons in the screen and turned to me "You figured out how to get out of the simulation in 7 minutes" he told me, i was shocked it felt like longer "wow I thought I was under for a while" I replied "That is surprisingly fast Ilianna, how did you get out' 'I just thought of something else to distract me from my surroundings' and Four nodded 'How very Erudite of you' he noted and a frown came on to my face, I detached the cables from me and walked out of the door. I didn't need that. I did well, I know I did but instead I got backlash. I didn't need praise, never in my life did I need recognition but sometimes it didn't hurt.

Things had started to become lonely in Dauntless for me. I passed the sim scapes without much of an issue which just made Four more annoyed which in turn pissed me off to no end, I still had no decent friends to speak about and Eric had started to close off again before we even started. He was so distant, anytime I tried to speak to him he would make an excuse to leave saying he had a meeting or that it was late and he was tired so would stalk off to his apartment. I had started to think I would have been better off ignoring my feelings for him and at least I wouldn't have felt so lonely. I joined dauntless to try and change people's opinions on the faction system to try and make a difference, I had received two results in my test, which meant that the faction system was failing and I wanted to be proof of that but sticking to my mission was becoming harder by the day. I was human after all I just wanted to feel needed for once, to feel like I was important to someone, anyone but most importantly to the person that I held in such high regard, the person I had let in. The person that I Lo...Liked.


	10. Face your fears

They say that you face your worst fears in the fear sims, i had learned all about this in Erudite. Most people have multiple fears, some they didn't even know that they had but are sitting in their sub conscious. I had only encountered two fears so far. The first being birds, a bit of a irrational fear I suppose as they couldn't do me much harm. I had no reason to fear birds I had never been attacked but the flapping just freaked me out. The second was the dark, yes I am afraid of the dark,how pathetic I know. I'm not really sure if it's the dark or if it's more of the idea of their not being any light, the inability to see a different space. I mean I don't sleep with a night light or anything but a small dark space like a cupboard or coffin, this is where I had been placed in fear landscape two.

Now, there are fears like spiders, the dark, heights etc etc and there are more emotional fears like someone dying, loosing a friend or being left alone. It's not for me or anyone to decide which type of fear is greater that depends on the person. I recon I should have at least six fears, mostly normal like the dark, bugs, birds but I am more worried of my sub conscious fears appearing. Things that I have put to the back of my memory, these were placed there for a reason and that's exactly where they should stay.

I had decided to tackle the Peter issue, as I had been calling it. Life was too short to fall out with the very few friends I had. I looked for him at breakfast that morning and saw him sitting with some of the other boys so I walked over and sat down across from him, everyone turned to look at me as if I had gone mad but I just responded with a smile. Peter glared over at me "what do you want" he asked voice full of malice I rolled my eyes at him before responding "How long are you going to stay mad at me Peter, I am sorry okay, really sorry" I told him, everyone went back to eating but I knew they were listening in, Peter shook his head "The issue here is that you clearly need me to survive here and i don't need you, ive never needed you" he responded. I felt a pang in my chest but ignored it "I am not going to fight with you again. Yes, I do need you, I need my friend back and if that makes me weak then that's fine with me but you may not need me Peter but you can't deny that you don't like having me around" I tried to reason with him, I saw a small smile appear on his face "We are not doing this year, we can talk later in the dorm room, 6?" he questioned I smiled and nodded at him before standing up to leave him in peace to think. Progress, a little, but progress none the less.

I had made the decision to use the break from training to sort my real life out. How could I possibly sort out my virtual fears if my real life was in such a mess. Peter was stage one and with Peter Lizzie would come around. Eric, now Eric was a different story entirely. We had barley spoken since that day in the corridor.

ERIC POV

Meeting after meeting after meeting, that is mostly what my life consisted of at the moment. Janine was searching for divergents and I was her first in command in Dauntless. I had my suspicions about certain initiates and had been sitting in on some of the fear landscapes. I had no evidence yet so didn't want to give anything away to Janine. We are also tasked with keeping the other factions in line and Jeanine had a plan for a Dauntless army, the reason why initiation had been much tougher this year. I wasn't sure that I agreed with her methods but I reported to Max and Max did agree so hear I was in another pointless boring meeting.

"Eric" Janine asked brining me out of my thoughts I raised an eyebrow at her which caused her to glare at me "Any promising initiates for our army" she asked while she sipped her tea, I couldn't stand the women she was an exact replica of a typical Erudite and the reason why I hated them, well most of them. "There are a good few high ranking initiates this year but i doesn't really mater anyway it's not like they will have a choice in the end" I accused earning a glare from Max and a chuckle from Janine, she placed her cup on the table before looking back over at me "i sense a strong distaste for my faction Eric and I need not remind you that you were once a member of this faction" she smiled wickedly knowing how much it irked me to bring up my old faction. I ground my teeth together to stop myself from getting too angry "Anyway I cannot understand your obvious distaste, I know who transferred to you from my faction this year, Ilianna Rose should be making quite the impact here" she smiled. I felt as if she knew, at the very mention of her name my heart rate sped up, why would she bring her up unless she knew about us. "Why would you say that" I questioned her and she stood up putting her coat on to get ready to leave "You know Eric, everyone is not always as they seam. I presume you have looked at her transfer record?' She questioned, i was getting very suspicious by this point but I nodded causing an obvious smirk to appear on her face "Well I suggest you look at it more carefully" she informed me before saying goodbye to everyone and leaving. I had to check that record.

After the meeting I found myself in the records room searching for Illianas file, it wasn't hard to find since it was a lot bigger than most. I pulled it out and sat down at the desk. I flicked through all the basic stuff section by section until I got to felony. I hadn't noticed before but there seemed to be a single piece of paper in this section that i am pretty sure I would have noticed if it had been there before. I slowly pulled it out.

Charge; Aggravated Assault

Sentence; overturned

Illianna Rose Brown suspected of aggravated assault against Mr Augustus Brown (uncle). Miss Brown attacked Mr Brown with a serrated knife following an accusation of sexual assault. Sentence overturned by Mr and Mrs Brown denial of witness statements of either the assault or sexual assault resulting in no chargers placed on either Miss Brown or Mr A Brown.

I sat down the sheet after reading it and instantly became angry throwing the file across the room before picking up the chair and lunching it as well. I leaned over the desk breathing heavily. She was assaulted by her uncle, her uncle! And her parent did nothing about it, how could they. I couldn't contain my anger I didn't know what to do what to say, I needed to work off this steam. She stabbed him and rightly so i was proud of her, she stuck up for herself. Sadly she didn't follow though or the bastard would be dead. I shook my head I couldn't think about it anymore, I couldn't be near her for a while, i needed to think.

So that's what I did. I immersed myself in my job, I trained, I ran, i did anything that would allow me to avoided seeing her. And it killed me.


	11. The truth

That night I went to the dorms to meet with peter, it was time to talk this out. I walked in and saw him sitting in my bottom bunk and smiled, I walked over to him and he looked up just as I reached the bunk so I sat down beside him. "You know I've said how sorry I am like a million times and I am Peter I just don't know what you want me to say to make this better" he sighed, "it would make it a hell of a lot better if you weren't still trying it on with the big oaf" he told me forcefully, I ran a hand though my hair with the stress and turned to him "i am not trying it on with anyone, trust me, I haven't spoken or seen him in over a week. I am not interested honestly I am not. I am only interested in getting my friend back' I told him, feeling guilty that it was only half the truth. I saw him crack a small smile and look up at me "I am not going to hide the fact that I am pleased to hear that and I am definitely not going to keep your relationship to myself if I so much as see you two together" he warned me. This was not the basis for a friendship, I knew that but in the moment it was what I needed "Agreed" I told him and leaned over to give him a hug which he returned eventually. Things were starting to get back to normal again and maybe having Eric ignore me was the wake up call I needed.

The next morning we all headed to training, we had been told that we would be going for a run around the compound before doing some circuit training and then back to the sims this afternoon. We all stretched and warmed up before four led the group off in a run. Lizzie and I ended up running together as neither of us could keep up with Peters pace it gave me a chance of explain to her that Peter and I were okay again. She didn't know the reason why we fought just that I had slapped him hence why she took his side.

Eventually Four stopped and announced that we would be taking a small break before running back. I gratefully stopped and took a swig out of my water bottle before deciding to approach Four to ask him about Eric. I walked up to him noticing the eyes of Tris following me, I looked back at her and rolled my eyes before continuing on to Four "Could I speak with you a minute" I asked him and he nodded and began to walk away from the other so I followed "Have you seem Eric around lately" I asked while looking at the ground "No I haven't, i thought you would be seeing more of him than me" he asked, I looked up to see a slight smirk on his face which made me scowl "Yeah really funny, I am serious I have barely seen him in over a week he hasn't even been at training" I pushed "He has been at training just not your sessions" he told me which made my heart sink a little "So he is avoiding me then" I questioned which made him stop and turn to me "This is exactly why I told you not to get involved, these rules are in place for a reason and it is not up to you whether you decide if they apply to you or not" he told me firmly, i crosses my arms in defence before replying "You think that I sought this out, he started this not me" I told him and he laughed he actually laughed "So you think you had nothing to do with this, you turn up at training dressed the way you do and encourage his advances". At that comment I saw blind rage so I stepped up to him and seethed "Did I want to be with Eric, yes i did but did I purposely seek him out NO and what difference does it make what the hell I wear. I should be able to wear whatever the hell I like without thinking that I am going to encourage someone's attention. Can guys not control themselves" I shouted at him as a single tear rolled down my face I could see his hard demeanour was breaking and he looked apologetic but I didn't want to hear it so I turned away "In my experience Four guys can't control themselves and that's their problem not mine" I told him as the tears ran freely.

I jogged back to the group and wiped away my tears not wanting anyone to see me cry. We ran back to the training room and started our circuits, I pushed as hard as I could to let some of my frustration out and even beat Peters time in the process. Peter smiled at me as we packed up our stuff and offered to walk me to lunch. As we entered peter, Louise, Finn, Lizzie and I all sat down to lunch. I looked up to the leaders table as I did every lunch to see if he was there but again he wasn't. I tried not to get upset and just sat listening to the groups conversation. Then I saw him walk into the lunch room, I looked him straight in the eye and he stopped dead before turning around and walking back out. No, I thought and quickly lifted myself off of the bench to leave "where are you going" Peter asked and i knew I had to lie "Going to the toilet I won't me long" I told him he seemed to accept this before I quickly made my way out of the room and down the corridor.

He was only a few paces in front of me as I turned the next corner "Eric" I shouted but he didn't stop I was angry I knew he could hear me "Eric stop now!" I roared and he came to a dead halt, I was breathing heavily as he turned round and stomped towards me "Don't shout at me like that you disrespectful little.. but before he could finish the sentence I cut him off "What, go on what am I" I shouted at him again he glared at me before grabbing me and towing me down the corridor into a room, he threw me inside and slammed the door pulling at his hair "what do you want" he seethed I rubbed at my red wrist and looked up at him "What is wrong with you" i shouted at him he stormed toward me and gave me a shove "Me? What is wrong with you, shouting at me like that down a corridor have you completely lost it!" This was not going the way I had planned it at all "You have been avoiding me" I told him and he laughed and spun around to face the door before turning back to me "See this is why I never get involved with an initiate, you are so immature, we kiss what twice and suddenly you think I should be at your becon call. That's not how it works initiate. You've seriously gone down in my estimations maybe you should go and find someone your own age they might match your brain capacity" he belittled me, I looked at him shocked and I saw red so I punched him across the face breaking my knuckle in the process and he barely moved, I clutched my hand in pain as he grabbed me by the throat.

"How dare you" he seethed in my face and I knew I had gone too far as I struggled to get free but luckily he just threw me to the ground before punching the wall, I watched as the blood ran down his hand I stood up and slowly walked over to him and took his bleeding hand in mine, he just looked down at me as I wiped away the blood and kissed it. I looked up at him and saw him looking at me wide eyed I stood up on my tip toes and gently caressed his face causing him to close his eyes "I am sorry, I just missed you" i told him honestly he opened his eyes and sighed before taking my hand off him "We can't do this Illianna" he told me and my heart nearly dropped to the floor "No" i told him but he shook his head "You want more than I can give you and I am not prepared to compromise" he said honestly he backed away but I grabbed his hand "Is that why you have been avoiding me" he shook his head "I haven't been avoiding you" but I knew that was a lie "Come on Eric at least be honest with me, please" I pleaded "you don't want to hear it Ilianna" he told me as he made his way to the door, I couldn't let him leave so I picked up a pen from one of the desks and threw it at the wooden door, it stuck in the door just above Erics hand. He looked down at the pen and threw it to the ground "At least it wasn't a knife" he said to himself which caused my brows to furrow "You want to know the truth" he questioned and I nodded he turned around "I read your file" he told me and I shrugged "So" I questioned not sure what he was getting at. "I didn't think you were a violent person, then I thought it must just be me that gets under your skin, then thought of how proud I was of you when I found out. But I've come to realise something, you are a control freak and when you don't get your own way you lash out" he spat at me, my heart began to race, he couldn't know, that wasn't supposed to stay in my file "Is that tiny brain of yours putting the pieces together?" He asked. He knew and yet he was being so cruel, I refused to cry.

"So that's why" I stared causing a look of confusion to cross his face "I am damaged" I told him "Why would a fearless Dauntless leader want damaged goods like me" I told him and the realisation hit him like a bus "you know that's not what i meant" "But it is, as soon and you find out what happened to me suddenly i am not good enough, I am not the curvy, bright eyed innocent girl that you thought I was, so now the funs gone out of the game" I spat at him as I felt a tear run down my cheek as I furiously wiped it away. He didn't say anything he just stared at me. I laughed and I made my way towards the door "Your right Eric, we cant work, your not the guy I thought you were" I spat before slamming the door behind me.


	12. Reality

I sat in the sim chair eyes still blotchy and red from my argument with Eric at lunch, the last thing I needed was to be in the fear sims but training was training and I would not let that idiot change my rank. Four kept looking at me as he typed things into the screen but never asked what had happened. He came over and stuck the needle into my neck without a word and everything slowly went black.

I woke up in my bed in my house at Erudite as I looked around in confusion. I sat up and began to wander around the room before making my way downstairs, the house seemed empty, then suddenly a figure started to emerge on the table. There he sat right in from of me with that horrible smile of his dressed in his blue suit as always. "Hello precious" he told me as he moved to stand up, I immediately backed up into the kitchen counter "Dont come near me" I warned him but he continued to advance "Please let's not start this nonsense" he scolded me and he reached out to move a piece of hair behind me ear causing me to flinch "No, I said don't touch me" I warned him again and he chuckled placing an arm on either side of the counter blocking me in, I looked around for an escape as he placed his hands on my waist as i squirmed "wow you have matured into a stunning young lady Ilianna" he praised as he stoked my sides I shook my head and tried to squirm away. I felt his hand go around the back of my dress to the tie and pull at it. This was not happening not again I couldn't let it. He leaned in to my neck and ran his nose along it, I strained my neck away from him as I looked around the counters for something to use that's when I saw them glinting in the sunlight that streamed through the window. I felt his hands slowly start to unwrap the dress from my body and I had to do something now. I leaned forward into him causing a look of surprise to flash across his features and I smiled at him I placed my hand on his shoulders and saw that he relaxed just enough so I gave him a hard shove and spun round to trap the glinting object I held it out just as he turned back around to me and i lunged forward the knife connecting with his gut. I sprung up suddenly back in the sim room.

I was sweating and couldn't catch a breath and I spun my head around "Ilianna it's okay it's okay you are safe" Four told me and I spun to look at him in the eye and he slowly nodded at me. I took a deep breath and raked a hand through my sweaty hair "I need to go" i quickly told him as I flew out of the room, I heard him shouting after me but I couldn't face him, now he knew too. I suddenly smashed right into someone and looked up to see it was Eric he looked angry until he saw the state i was in but just as he was about to say something I turned and continued to run down the hall. I couldn't face either of them not now.

FOUR POV

I quickly ran out of the room to try and catch Ilianna but she was long gone I sighed and looked down at the floor. I couldn't believe what I just saw and the worst part was that I think it was a memory. I looked up to see Eric standing looking off down the corridor "Eric, where did she go" i asked him and he turned to face me "What the hell happened" he asked me and I couldn't help but feel that he was accusing me "I didn't do anything, it was her fear sim, what she saw it was..." but I didn't know how to finish the sentence. Eric turned and looked at me as if he knew something so i questioned him "Have you seen her file"i asked him and he nodded "Eric, i think something bad has happened to her, its not my story to tell but i get the feeling you already know what i am talking about" he looked at me and nodded slowly causing me to sigh, i had been right i clearly was a memory. She feared one of her memory's, much like how i feared my father.

Ilianna PoV

I sat in the dormitory point that no one would come in. I hoped this would never follow me, i hoped that i could keep this in my past and start a fresh in dauntless. If I hadn't have had that fight with Eric it wouldn't have came up in my fear sim, he brought it all back. I had spent months hiding it putting it to the back of my memory and he's brought it all flooding back in 10 minutes. I wiped the tears from my face before letting out a big sigh. I couldn't have this, I couldn't let someone affect me so much that they can bring all of this back up. I had to move on and if that meant moving on alone then that's what it had to be. I cant get too close to anyone, not if this is the consequence.

At that point i had made a decision, no more relationships, stick to the ones i have and don't let anyone else in. It was the best way to keep me safe and right now i was in self preservation mode. I cant have that scenario coming up in the landscapes again so i needed to put it out of my head. My fears cant become my reality, not again.

The next morning went along like it usually did, i needed everything to remain the same. We all gathered in the training room for our morning session, I noted that Eric was back at training but refused to acknowledge his presence. We split into groups for sparring, me ending up in a group with most initiates i did not know. We started warm up on the punching bags and laps around the room, i concentrated solely on my training. The matches were shouted out randomly and i patiently waited for my turn, my name was called and i was to face another erudite girl called Louise. I recognised her from my faction but I didn't interact with her.

I stood opposite her on the mat as we were given the signal to start. She took a run at me which i easily dodged causing her to trip off of the mat, she stood back up and turned to face me. Sparring was exactly what i needed to release my frustrations so i got out of my fighting stance and stood up straight "Initiate what are you doing" Eric questioned me but I chooses to ignore him. Louise took another run at me and landed a punch to my gut but i was quick with an uppercut and caught her on the jaw, as she stumbled back i kicked her in the side and grabbed her hair flinging her down to the mat. I straddled her on the mat and punched her repeatedly in the face noticing her lip bursting and her nose beginning to bleed "Ilianna" i heard Four scowled from the side lines but again ignored it. All i could see what red, blind rage. So i continued to punch her before grabbing her round the throat and squeezing tight. Her hands came up to try and pry my hands off as she struggled but I didn't let go.

Just then i felt two sting arms grip round my waist but i just squeezed her neck tighter and she started to black out "Ilianna, let go now" the voice bellowed in my ear before i was forcefully pulled off of her. I struggled in the grip i knew as Erics but he refused to let go, i kicked and thrashed but it made no difference "Calm down" he told me repeatedly "Get off me" i shouted at him before he eventually released me causing me to fall to the mat. I sat heavy breathing for a moment before i looked over to see four carrying Louise out of the room towards what i assumed would be the medical wing. I lost control, completely. I didn't see Louise in that moment i just saw anger and it scared me.

Everyone was silent as i looked around the room, they all just starred at me. Eric quickly dismissed everyone for lunch and they soon started to slowly leave the room. I just sat on the mat head in my hands looking at the floor, still trying to breath. I felt a hand go on my shoulder but i shrugged it off. "Please just dont touch me" i pleased with him, knowing Eric had stayed behind. He immediately moved his hand away and began cleaning up the training room as i just sat there.

Eventually i stood up to leave, feeling a lot calmer and definitely needing a shower. Eric noticed me standing up from the corner of the room and watched me as I made my way to the door but i ignored him "Ilianna" he shouted after me. I stopped in my tracks, it had been so long since i heard my name leave his lips "What" i asked refusing to turn to look at him, he didn't approach me "I think you need to speak to someone" he told me, which caused a small chuckle to leave my lips. I looked up at the ceiling and titled my head back, closing my eyes. "So now you care" i mocked and received no response "What i need is peace and quite, time to think, time to put all of this back in the box where it belongs" i informed him as calmly as i could, still not being able to look at him. "That's worked so well last time didn't it" he responded which caused the rage to build back up in me. I spun round to look at him and he didn't look best pleased "Really, your going to judge me on how i deal with this" i asked "You have no idea what i am going through or what ive been through. How dare you try to tell me what i need and what is best for me, you barely know me" i shouted at him. He didn't say anything back he just looked at me and i looked straight into his eyes, he looked upset. Something i have never seen in him before and seeing this caused me to fell regret and shouting at him the way i did but he didn't understand. "Please Eric i just need some time" i pleaded with him trying to soften my tone. He only nodded his head and let me leave the room.


	13. Building

_Thanks for reading. just a quick note to say that any feedback on this story is much appreciated!_

ERIC POV

It had been a week since the incident with Ilianna in the training room and we hadn't spoken since, she would stay quite in training and didn't have an more fights due to the fear of her doing something stupid. She was still ranked at number 7, so was clearly still doing well. I has asked Four to keep me informed as to how her fear landscaped were going and to my relief she hadn't had anymore about her uncle. I wished i had never brought any of this up, the carefree, smart, beautiful girl had gone and she was now a shell of herself and it was my fault. I wanted to help mend her but she just wouldn't let me and I couldn't blame her so instead i kept an eye on her from afar.

I sat at lunch looking down at everyone else eating and immediately clocked Ilianna sitting with her usual group and sitting next to Peter as usual. They seemed to get along which irked me to no end but I wouldn't do anything about it, he seemed to be helping her bend and I wouldn't was to disrupt that. "Something on your mind" Max asked from beside me i shook my head but a frown appeared on his face "Do you think I didn't go and check the record after our meeting with Janine" he asked me and i sighed and rubbed my forehead "You cant do anything for her Eric, what happened has happened and it is up to her to deal with it" he informed me but I didn't acknowledge him "This better not be more than i think it is Eric" he warned me and i let out a small laugh "No need to worry Max i can assure you that girl doesn't want to be within 5 feet of me" i said which caused him to laugh "Well that makes a change" he laughed but i saw nothing funny in this situation.

Ilianna POV

I sat at lunch with my friends and smiled at them, happy to be back to some form of normalcy. We had a free day so Lizzie and I planned to go shopping. Lizzie and i got up to leave to head to the pit to spend some girl time to get her, just what i needed.

We spent ages looking through the various rails of clothing, just browsing and chatting about anything and everything. "This is amazing you need to try it on" Lizzie shouted me over, i looked at the black jumpsuit that she was holding up and i shook my head "I will look like cat women or something" i laughed "Seriously would you just try it on" she told me and shoved it into my arms. I sighed but made my way to the changing room. It's was tight, really tight with a v neckline which came a bit too low for my liking. I walked out to show Lizzie who looked at me in awe "Wow, you need to get that" she exclaimed and i shook my head "when would i ever have a reason to wear this" i questioned her "anytime! You know Dauntless through the best parties" she tried to reason with me. I turned and looked in the mirror, i just felt ridiculous "I look like a superhero" i told her but she just laughed. In the end i gave up and bought the damn thing to shut her up.

We decided to also head to the tattoo parlour where Lizzie decided on beautiful black and white rose design on her arm and i decided to get my vine tattoo extended down my rib change. It was extremely painful but worth it once i saw the finished result, i planned to keep extending the vine as i progressed through dauntless. As we finished up and left the parlour Lizzie mentioned that there was a party in the pit that night, i then realised that's why she bugged e about buying that jumpsuit and couldn't help but let out a laugh. Maybe a good party was exactly what i needed, I hadn't been to one since my first week or two here.

That night we got all dressed up, me in the dreaded jump suit and we all headed out to the pit. I felt so self conscious constantly pulling at my outfit "Would you leave it alone, you look insane" Peter whispered to me as we entered the pit, i just smiled at him not really believing what he had told me. The pit was extremely busy tonight and the music was blaring. I looked around and noticed a lot of other initiates there. We all made our way over to a table and took a seat, i dint plan on dancing much tonight "What are the chances of us getting alcohol" i questioned the guys and they shook there head "No chance" the bar tenders know we are initiates. I scowled at the thought, that's really what i needed tonight. "Do I seriously look okay in this" i asked Peter again and he shook his head at me "If i need to tell you again Lil i am going to look like a creep" he told me with a raised eye brown i laughed at him and gave him a shove "Well i am going to get a drink then" i told him with a smile, he looked at me with a frown but i got up and made my way over to the bar.

I looked around and spotted a seriously handsome guy standing by the bar with one of his friends I didn't recognise him from training so assumed her must either be a dauntless born or better yet a full member. I put on my best smile and walked over to him. His friend tapped him on the shoulder and pointed in my direction causing him to look round at me and a big smile to grow on his face. Bingo. "Hi, I'm Ilianna" i told him and he just stood there, his friend gave him a sharp nudge in the rips which caused him to cough "Sorry about him he's Chris" his friend told me, i just smiled and shook my head "It's alright. So are you two initiates or.." i questioned them, this time Chris answered "No no we've been here two years now both dauntless born though" he told me which caused me to smile even more "Your an initiate" Chris guessed and i nodded "Yeah, were nearly done now though, just the fear sim final to go" i told him "Well i hope you make it i would love to see more of you around here" he told me "Do you want a drink" his friend asked, just what i was looking for "That would be lovely thank you. Vodka and lime would be great thanks" i told him as he walked off to get it. "How's the training going" Chris asked "Well i think, I'm number 7 so not too bad but i need to move up the rankings a bit" i told him "Well if you ever need any help just ask i would be happy to help" he informed me. I actually really liked this guy he seemed really sweet "That would be great" i told him with a sweet smile.

I had taken Chris and his friend who i now knew as Keegan over to meet the rest of my friends, surprisingly Peter and Keegan hit it off really well both were discussing the best fitting stance and headlock positions which just made me roll my eyes. Chris had been so nice the whole night and totally respectful which i was shocked by but just because two people had been like that with me didn't mean i had to label them all the same. I was five drinks in now and was starting to feel slightly tipsy. I leaned on Chris shoulder, which he didn't seem to mind and every now and again i would feel him stoke my hair "Do you want some water" he asked me and i shook my head "I am fine honestly" i told him sitting up "Hey I didn't say you could move" he joked "You know your really sweet" i told him smiling up at him. I saw a faint red rise on his cheeks "Thanks and your really cute" he told me causing me to blush which was so unlike me. "I could honestly be sick with the two of you" Will piped up "Aww Jealous much Will" Lizzie asked him, causing us all to laugh. "I better head back. I am working in the morning" Chris told me i nodded and stood up to walk him outside of the pit, he lightly took my hand as we walked over. I looked down at it and smiled. We walked just down the corridor so we could actually hear each other "Wow my ears are ringing" i laughed as the silence finally came. Suddenly i felt a hand on my cheek and felt Chris slowly move my hair behind my ear, i just stared at him "You are incredibly beautiful" he told me with a smile and i looked down to the ground but he lightly lifted my head back up. My heart was hammering in my chest, I didn't know why i was so nervous. He took a step towards me lightly circling my waist before leaning in, i began to lean in towards him. "Ilianna!" I heard a shout which caused me to rest my forehead on his and let out a long sigh.


	14. Eric

ERIC POV

I sat and watched her all night, she hadn't seen me that was obvious in fact she hadn't even looked for me and that stung a little. She had easily caught the attention of Chris, one of the lower ranking dauntless members. What was she thinking. I watched as he bought her drinks, something he wasn't allowed to do but I didn't stop it. I watched her cuddle into his chest as they sat and laughed with her friends. I gulped down beer after beer as i sat and watched, it was the only way to get threw it "You okay" asked cherry beside me. Cherry was Max's partner and was a brilliant source for advice "Do i look okay" I questioned her harshly and gulped down some more beer "No, that's why i asked, what's going on" she questioned me but I couldn't take my eyes of Ilianna. Cherry looked over the balcony to find what i was looking at and obviously caught me staring at Ilianna "Ah i see"she mused with a smile on her face, i turned to look at her "It's alright, i wont tell anyone, after all the heart wants what it wants" she told me and i shook my head "My heart doesn't want anything" i told her trying to hide my thoughts "You don't hide it very well Eric, you obviously care for that girl and i can see the hurt in your eyes when you look at her. I don't know what's happened but i suggest you go and fix it" she told me before getting up and moving over to be with Max. I looked back over to Ilianna to see her and Chris were gone. I felt panic rise in me as I frantically looked around for them and spotted them heading for the exit. No you don't i thought and quickly got up and made a beeline for the exit.

I quickly rounded the corner and spotted her and Chris leaning towards each other and my heart dropped "Ilianna!" I shouted at her, unsure of what else to do. She stopped and leaned against him before Chris turned to face me with a look of confusion on his face, i could knock his head clean of his shoulders "Eric, is everything okay" he asked me. Okay?! No its not okay! I thought but instead ignored him and turned to Ilianna she still had her head buried in his chest refusing to look at me "Iliana look at me" i told her and she gently turned to face me. We both stared at each other for what felt like the longest time "Are you okay to be left with him Ilianna" Chris asked her "Of course she is you idiot what do you think I'm going to do" i questioned him, earning a scowl from her. She smiled up at him "I will be fine promise. Thanks for a lovely night" she told him and gently kissed him on the cheek. I had to look away. "See you soon" he asked and she nodded before heading off down the corridor.

"What" she asked me coldly as she turned to face me. I didn't know what to say i just needed to stop whatever was about to happen between them "How are you" i asked her and she scoffed "Your joking right" she questioned me and i frowned at her "Your serious, you dont care how i am Eric, we haven't spoken properly in weeks" she told me. I knew she was right but I didn't need her attitude "Well i am trying now" i told her which only seemed to make her more angry "Why dont you just leave me alone" she questioned me "Just be my leader, that's all. Treat me like everyone else" she told me which only made me more angry "That's what you want" i asked her and she nodded "Yeah that's what i want". I didn't believe it, not for a second "No you don't" i told her as i stepped forward "I messed up, i get that but I'm not going to apologise if that's what your looking for", my stubborn side coming out "You are seriously unbelievable. The one time i think things are going back to normal and you have to jump in and ruin it" she seethed at me "What, your little romance with him" i scoffed at her "Really, you want him" i asked her. She flung her arms up in the air and marched towards me "You do not have a say in who i spend my time with, i like Chris, a lot actually" she told me which made my blood boil "You've only known him for what four hours, get a grip" i shot back at her. We were both face to face by this point and she was beet red with anger "You are not going to do this to me again" she shouted at me which caused my brow to furry "Every time i think I'm happy you come and ruin it. I was absolutely right when i said we would be volatile and that's exactly why ive been avoiding you. I want nothing to do with you Eric do you hear me, stay the hell away from me" she warned me and gave me a shove. She went to storm off but I couldn't let her go, i quickly grabbed her wrist and hauled her back round to me "Go on then Eric, hit me, its what you do best" she seethed right in my face. I immediately let go of her, my face fell, that's what she thought of me. She looked into my eyes and hers started to soften. I looked at the floor unsure of what i should do.

"You know. Ive never been one to open up. It's a weakness and Dauntless never show a weakness and the one time I opened up even a hair look what's happened" i mused not really speaking to anyone in particular "Your right. Your an initiate and i am a leader and that's exactly the way things should be" i informed her before straitening back up and placing my hands behind my back "You should be getting back to the dorms" i told her and could feel myself start to close back up. My protective walls coming back into place, just the way it should be. She nodded her head at me and made her way down the corridor towards the dorms. That's it, were done. I cant do this anymore and i know she certainly cant. Sometimes two people are just too similar and neither of us could afford to be hurt. This was the best thing for both of us.


	15. Initiate

_Hi everyone. Sorry for delay in updating. I have been struggling with where to go with this story. I don't think it's nescesary to go into detail about Iliannas completion of her initiation so I am going to do a small time skip after initiation in order to continue with her story. Consider this almost as the second book of sorts. I might end up turning this into a second book but I will continue it here for the moment._

I woke to the sunlight streaming in the large windows which adorned the walls of my small apartment. I couldn't help but smile. After the final sim we all got to choose jobs that we would have as fully fledged dauntless members, I choose to work in the medical side, trauma mainly. After the incedent at the last training and after they checked my file I wasn't given the option to be anything which involved fighting or violence if any kind really. This suited me in the end, it allowed me to put my brain to good use while also helping my fellow dauntless.

I quickly got dressed and made my way to the medical wing to find out what was in store for me today. I looked around and noticed that it seemed to be fairly quite today so made my way to my office to catch up on some filing. I sighed as I saw the mass of paperwork strewn across my desk, one thing I do not like about this job. Although I settled down to work none the less.

Lizzie had ranked below me so had been tasked with an administration job for the lower ranked Dauntless leaders, Peter managed to get an amazing job as team leader of one of the patrols but luckily he was in the compound regularly due to his higher ranking, Will also made it as one of the patrol soldiers but he was stationed at the other factions a lot more so we didn't see much of him anymore. Chris and I have managed to stand the test of time so far although it has only been a month or so. Chris worked in the control room along with Four so he was always around which meant we got to spend a good deal of time together. Tris ended up being chosen to train initiates and I can't say that I wasn't jealous of her position but I understood leaderships apprehensions.

I raked my had though my long hair as I diligently filled the paperwork in their designated spaces before hearing a soft knock at my door "come in" i shouted towards the door, Louise one of the nurses stuck her head round the side of the door with a smile "Sorry to bother you Ilianna but we have one of the patrol needing some stitches when you are ready" I nodded my head at her and quickly left to get cleaned up to start my more favourable duties. I washed my hands and arms down and tied my hair up into a bun before making my way to one of the rooms. I cautiously knocked on the door before entering only to find Peter lying in the bed with his hands behind his head. "What have you done" I questioned him as I walked over he smirked up at me and rollled his eyes "There was a slight incident with a knife" he informed me pointing to his left thigh, I looked and saw the pool of blood and shook my head "I thought you were meant to stay out of the action as a team leader" i questioned him as I began to get the needles and everything else I needed "Not completely, plus it was just a training exercise that got out of hand" I choose to ignore him and tore away the remaster of his trouser leg to began stitching which ernt me a frown.

"Are you coming to the meeting tonight" peter questioned me as he began to gather his things to leave I turned to him with a confused look on my face "The meeting, in the pit, tonight" I drug out slowly "I heard you the first time I just wasn't aware of any meeting" I told him smartly crossing my arms over my chest. He jumped off the bed and made his way over to the door "Well I suggest you come, it's tonight at 6pm" he informed me I nodded me]y head at him "I will save you a seat" he told me before leaving the room. I was confused why hadn't I heard of this meetin, what was it about. I left the room and made my way over to Louise who had been sitting at the reception desk "hey Louise, are you going to this meeting tonight" I questioned her "Yes, everyone's going, it's mandatory" she informed me with a worried look in her eye "any idea what it's about" i asked but she only shook her head so I shrugged and returned to my office to finish if my filing.

Chris POV

"Four" I shouted as I jogged along the corridor to catch him up, he turned around to face me just as I reached him "Any idea what this meeting tonight is about" I asked as we continued walking down the hallway. His brows furrowed before hen answered "I am not privy to the answer I am afraid, leaders only" he told me which only peeled my interest. What could be so important that we all have to be there but no one is allowed to know why. I planned on walking by to pick Ilianna up to go to the meeting together.

I couldn't believe my luck with her, I thought perhaps she was out for a one night type of thing but I quickly realised that she wasn't that type of girl and to be honest I wasn't that type of guy. I think it was safe to say we wer together, neigh of us had really mentioned it or decided to label it, too much pressure, but she wasn't seeing anyone else and I certainly wasn't. She was different than any other women at Dauntless and absolutely stunning. I can't even remember the amount of times I've been told that I am seriously reaching and I know that but I will just continue to count my lucky stars for as long as this lasts.

Eric POV

Meeting, meeting, meeting that's all that had been talked about alll day. By members and leaders alike. Erudite had been asking for ire and more soldiers which meant we had to push the initiates harder each year, thnaksfully as the recent ones had just grandfather we had some months before another set were due but Janine had another plan to make sure that the power of Dauntless would continue regardless of how little or many transfers we would receive.

"Eric" Max bellowed as he approached my office door chasing me to sigh, a minute later he entered and slammed the door behind him. I slowly looked up for the my stack of papers "the meeting is tonight Eric" he told me which caused me to roll my eyes "Really I wasn't aware" aware I informed him with a sly smile. This did not seem to go down very well. "You of all people should be taking this a lot more seriously, you know what is at stake here and at the moment you look to be in the worst position" Max informed me. I leaned back in my chair with arms crossed "Really" i scowled at him "You and I both know that you are not well liked Eric. That shouldn't come to any surprise for you" he said mater of fact. I want offended, I didn't care who like me or not it didn't affect my ranking here "I am more than aware Max but I fail to see what purpose that hold in the mater". Max made his way back over to the door and made to leave "A few months ago this would have been all too easy for you Eric but you blew it and now when you need her the most she won't be there for you, will she" he stated before making his way out of my office. I clenched my teeth together as I felt the anger rise before quickly grabbing the closet thing to be and launching it at the closed door.


	16. Meeting

_Hope the last chapter made sense to everyone. This one should clear everything up, I am taking the Janine army idea in a new direction. Instead of the injections in the film. Same idea but over a longer timescale as it will suit this book beter._

Chris and I made our way to the pit along with the rest of the faction to finally find out what was so important that the whole faction was basically closed down. I felt a squeeze on my hand and looked down to see Chris holding mine I smiled up at him reassuringly to let him know that I was okay. Chris liked to treat me like a china doll, which in one hand I liked but in the other bothered me to no end. I quickly noticed Peter, Will, Lizzie, Keegan and a few others at a table near by so pulled Chris over to sit, just as max made his way to the balcony.

"Quite down" Max bellowed which quickly got everyone's attention. "You have all been called here tonight in order to discuss a very important mater. Erudite have been looking into our initiate figures and have found something very disturbing". As soon as Erudite had been mentioned I didn't think anything good would come of it as it meant Janine was involved in one way or another. If I learned anything at all from Erudite it was that Janine Mathews was a force to be reconed with and whatever she had her sticky mits in, it couldn't be any good. "It appears that every year we receive more male initiates than female and even out of the few females who do transfer very few make it through to dauntless" this peeked my interest as I leaned forward to hear beter. Of course there was, it didn't take Erudite to work that one out. "Therefore this has caused alarm throughout leadership as well as other factions. We are the protectors of this city, of this faction and a day might come that we do not receive enough transfers to protect these walls" Max continued "With the help of Erudite we have been able to pass a new law for our faction" he announced. I began to feel very uncomfortable and began to fidget causing Chris to grab my hand once again. I looked around the room and noticed everyone doing the same. I looked up to the balcony at the leaders only to catch eyes with Eric who seemed to be giving me a sympathetic glance which only made me more confused. "We will require all female members to either be with child or have had at least one child by the age of 30" Max announced causing wild whispers to start throughout the room.

My stomach dropped. How is this right, how is this empowering. To resort us to baby making machines instead of warriors, how can we possibly protect this city if we are with child. I dropped Chris hand like it had caught fire and quickly turned to Lizzie who had the same look of rage as I did "they cannot be serious" she asked me and i shook my head looking back up towards Max "Silence!" He bellowed "I realise this will come as a shook to you all but it is what needs to be done to give out faction then best chance of survival. Dauntless born initiates are far more likely to make it through initiation and thus give us the higher number we will need in order to perform our duties. Furthermore, it will be a requirement for all senior ranking Dauntless members to pair off" i furrowed my brows at this comment "Pair off as in what marry" I questioned Izzie who shrugged her shoulders. "We will require all senior ranking members to be set with a partner by the age of 26, this will give the partnerships time to make arrangements as i realise most of our leaders are already in long standing settlements". If I hadn't already felt sick I definitely did now. I immediately looked across the balcony to find Eric only not being able to catch his eye as he had his eyes focused on the ground "25" I said allowed which caused the group to turn to me. Lizzie followed my eyeline unlike the others and her eyes quickly sprung back to me in realisation. He would have to marry and he would have to do it in less than a year.

After the meeting we all retreated back to mine for drinks god only knows we needed it. We mostly sat in silence unsure of what best to say "how do you girls feel about everything" Keegan asked Lizzie and I. She was first to speak "I have never been against having children but I would like to do it in my own time and not because I've been force to under a law. What are the poor girls supposed to do who are approaching that age and are not in relationships, bring a kid up on their own", i nodded my head, "Ilianna' Chris questioned me as he slowly rubbed up and down my arm "I don't want kids" I said out loud which caused everyone to look at me "I never have, now I am being forced into it. Well I will wait it out, I am only 19 I have time maybe in time they will revoke this stupid law" I told them all, I looked over to Chris who looked a bit upset by my confession. "Are any of you considered high ranking" Lizzie asked, I looked round at the boys who shook their heads "Peter" I asked him as he had been quite "I think i am" he informed us and I let out a frustrated sigh. "Let's think then. We have Four, he's head of communications and training, Peter you are a patrol leader so there's you and four others, there's Alex he's head of amunitions, Lucy is head of democracy, Patrick in head of health right Ilianna" Chris asked and i nodded my head "Then there's the leaders" Chris finished "Yeah but they are all in relationships or married and are over the age bracket anyway" Will mentioned. My heart dropped again but I chose to ignore it "Erics not" Lizzie notes which caused me to scowl at her. I looked over to Peter who was staring me directly in the eye "Hes 25" i informed them "Well best of luck to him cause he's gonna need it" Peter spat while still staring straight at me. All I could do was glare back, I had to act normal, like it didn't affect me, but it did.

ERIC POV

I stayed behind in the pit after the meeting just staring out at the empty room. I wasn't surprise by the announcement I knew it had been coming, I knew the pregnancy would go down like a lead baloon. What had me thinking was the mandatory marriage law. For once in my life being a leader had a major disadvantage for me. I had no intentions of marrying anyone, I wasn't the settling down type. The thought made me scoff.

As I looked down at the empty benches I couldn't help looking over to where she sat, the look of rage evident in her face. I hadn't thought about her in a while, well at least I tried not to. She passed her initiation with flying colours in rank 6 which allowed her to choose almost any path but her past blocked a few of those options for her although she seemed happy. After graduation i had no need to interact with her, so I didn't. I noticed how she and Chris had grown closer and I had heard the talk about how Chris managed to get the girl everyone had been seemingly been waiting on to pass. A small smile played on my lips at the thought. They all wanted her and I could have had her but I was slowly destroying her, like I do with most things. I quickly cleared the memories out of my head. We hadn't spoken since our last fight just as she had asked, she was just like any other member as much as that was hard to convince myself.

"Penny for your thoughts" the voice of cherry asked as she stood by me on the balcony. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you Eric but you really do need to get your head around this, you don't have much time" she informed me I scoffed at her "I am fine, it's only a piece of paper. Once this is sorted I can get back in with my duties" I informed her which only caused her to sigh "just don't do anything too rash please Eric, this is your one and only shot at this" she informed me. I stood up and away from the balcony ready to make my leave "I know what you are trying to do cherry, you and max seem to have the same end game. Different tactics but same end game" I walked over to the stair way but stopped short "She's happy i am not about to ruin that again" I informed her before I made my way back downstairs.


	17. Going mad

Things were tense, that was obvious to see in most. I had decided to take an early lunch that day just to get some peace and quite. I walked towards the pit hoping it would be empty, thankfully when I arrived i only saw Tris and som others so I decided to go and sit with her. We were close during initiation but we weren't enamies either. She smiled when she saw me approach and I noted all of the pager strewn around her. "Busy" I questioned her as I sat and she nodded her head "Very, I am trying to go through all of the transfer papers from the last few years to check out this theory" she told me which made me smile "I presume you are no happier than the rest of us" I noted as I pulled out my lunch from my bag "No, I don't want kids Iliiannna" she informed me, I was quite surprised by this information "Join the club" I told her as I took a bite of my sandwich she turned to me giving me an odd look "What" I questioned her she seemed to pause for a minute before continuing "Four is 25" she said and I nodded my head wondering what her point was "Eric is 25" she said which caused me to glare at her "you are observant aren't you" I joked getting defensive "Ilianna you know what I mean, Four needs to marry and soon and I am no where near ready for this and maybe he knows it too, I am worried he will choose someone else because I am a lot younger". I stared at her blankly feeling sorry for oher but wondering what this had to do with me. I turned round towards her so I was straddling the bench "I suppose you will understand" she said which only made me more confused "Chris is only 22" I said in confusion then I saw a small smirk appear on her face "True but I don't mean Chris" she said and I blinked at her, was she being serious, the anger starting to build in me. I scowled at her and leaned forward "What Eric does or does not do is none of my concern trust me" I spat at her before grabbing my lunch and high tailing it out of the pit.

I couldn't figure out if she had been been purposely trying to get a rise out of me or whether she was just that dense. I knew there was a reason we never quite got along. I stomped my way back to the infirmary not looking at all where I was marching only to have the inevitable happen, I bashed into someone hard and fell flat of the floor. I squeezed my eyes shut at the impact with the hard ground "Son of a bitch" I said out loud at the pain from the impact, I then looked up to see who had stopped me in my tracks "Really" I asked aloud to no one in particular. Eric reached down to help me up but I scrambled to my feet myself, I brushed myself down and looked up at him just standing there not uttering a word. He looked different, not as stern as usual, dare I say more vulnerable. I tilted my head at him "Are you okay" I asked him actually genuinely concerned he scoffed "I should be asking you that surely" he replied and I smiled nodding my head at him "yeah you probably should actually" I replied smartly. The air around us seemed tense as neither of us really knew what to say, we hadn't had a conversation in so long "Are you okay" I asked him again noting how he deflected my question. He seemed to let out a sigh before replying "I am fine Ilianna, I need to get back to work" he informed me sternly before brushing past me but I wouldn't let it go so i tuners in my heels after him.

"Eric" I shouted as I tried to catch up with him down the corridor, he stopped and seemed to crack his neck, he only did this when he was really on edge so I stopped abruptly "I know all of this must be really hard for you so if you ever need to talk" I began but I couldn't seem to finish the scentance utterly surprising myself that it left my mouth in the first place. He turned to face me and looked me up and down letting a small smile fall on his features "I am fine, you should get back to the infirmary you will be needed" he told me before turning back and stalking off once more. I looked down at the floor and let out a long sigh. He certainly didn't look okay but that was really none of my business anyway. I made my way back to the infirmary as first planned trying to ignore the naggin voice in my head telling me to go after him.

Later that night I found myself cuddled up to Chris on the couch in my apartment, I took deep breath trying to breath in his scent and shut my eyes feeling myself begin to relax "Ilianna can we please talk" Chris nudged me, my eye sprung open and I sat up right crossing my legs underneath me "I know you have been a bit on edge about the whole new law thing but I just wanted to assure you that I don't plan on spontaneous asking you to marry me any time soon" he told me and I let out a laugh which caused him to look completely offended "No no sorry I am not laughing at you honest, I am just laughing st myself for worrying about it" "You have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say that" I told him honestly. He pulled me in for a hug and kissed the top of my head "I really like you Ilianna but we've only been seeing each other for a month I am not mad" he said while letting out a small chuckle himself. I really was so lucky to have him I thought as I cuddled back down to his chest. Smiling as I drifted off.

ERIC POV

I sat in my office listening to the pings from my various devices, Eric do this, make sure this is done, , have you done that yet. I glared at my tablet as it pinged once more, I glance over to it to find a message from Janine asking how the new laws had been going down I scoffed and threw the tablet in my drawer slamming it shut. How did she possibly think these would go down I thought as I stood up having had enough. I slammed the door to my office and made my way down to the pit. The pressure of everything was really starting to get to me, I had loads of paperwork to do, management of the factions patrols, security for all of the factions, reports for Janine and to top it off this stupid marriage thing. Six months, I had six months until my 26th birthday, the very thought made me want to pull my hair out. I quickly turned the next corner and sent someone flying to the ground, I looked down ready to give them hell when I noticed the mass of red/brown hair sprawled out on the ground and then her big green eyes looked up at me in a scowl but I noticed how they softened once she realised it was me.

I could have really done without our little interaction today, I wasn't in the mood to be shouted at or belittled so I stood defensive but it never came she looked genuinely concerned for me and that was evident when she pushed on how I had been clearly I had given away my stress. I refused to acknowledge that I was anything but fine she didn't need to know about any of my issue, I doubt that she would actually care anyway so I store away only to be stopped by the sweet sound of my name leaving her lips. I stopped suddenly getting a flash back to the day she chased me down the corridor and everything we had in wound I clenched my fists at the thought of that day before telling her once agin that I was fine and she should leave. I needed to go, I felt the waves of quilt wash back over me from that day so I had to get myself out of this situation.

I decided I needed to train to release some steam so headed to my apartment to get changed instead. As much as I hated to admit it I wish I could go back and erase that day from history, it where it all went wrong, if I had of just kept my cool and been honest with her I wouldn't be in this position and she wouldn't be shacked up with Chris. The very thought made me grit my teeth to stop me from loosing control. Maybe I needed some time away to think, I could visit home back at Erudite, I hadn't seen my family in a while and usually I wouldn't have been to bothered about this but I couldn't stay here and think and a little of advice wouldn't do any harm either.

I had made my decision that night, I needed to leave to get my head straight. Otherwise I was going to go mad.


End file.
